As I sat there at my Grandma's funeral I felt many emotions. I felt sad for Grandpa that he lost the love of his life after 65 years. I felt happy for grandma that she has no more pain and is rejoicing with the angels in Heaven. I felt longing to be where Grandma is because this world is not my home. Lastly, I felt disappointed.
The preacher gave a wonderful message of what the Bible says about sorrow, about death, and about eternal life. He spoke about Grandma and her unwavering will and her desire to always help people. He described her as a "prayer warrior", as a "strong Christian woman", and as a person who loved without expectation of anything in return.
He described Grandma the way you would describe any saint from the Bible; and rightfully so. She was an amazing woman that left an incredible legacy. In return, I am disappointed.
If I passed away people would have some nice things to say. People would have some fond memories of me. People would mention that I was a Christian. However, would they be able to describe me like that pastor described my grandma? No, they wouldn't. I've done little to further the message of Christ. I'm as far from being a prayer warrior as Bill Gates is at becoming an action hero. I do just enough to get by; sometimes less. I am eking through my Christian life with nothing to show for it. I'm storing up my things on earth, but my mansion in Heaven is currently bare.
I want to live a Christian life of purpose. I want to lead a life that those behind me can use as a guide. I want to leave more than money or possessions to my children. I want to leave a legacy.
Goodbye Grandma. I love you dearly. you're in a much better place than I am. Thank you for what you left behind. It is the type of inspiring life that causes me to want to do more, be more, and live more. I want to keep your legacy alive. I will struggle and I will fail, but I don't want to give up. I've got a lot of work to do, but I'm ready to do it. The Christian church suffered a huge loss with your passing; one that will be felt for years to come. I will do everything in my power - with Christ's help - to fill those giant shoes you left behind.
"Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord". Matthew 25:23
Bob,
ReplyDeleteOne thing about funerals ... they really make us examine ourselves. But I think you are selling yourself short. You are a fine Christian young man, a good Christian husband, and a good Christian dad.
There are ALWAYS more things we can do, but it's important to do them in God's time, not ours. Wait and listen for Him to let you know what He wants from you (I just felt compelled to tell you this. Sorry!)
But there are lots of little ways to make a big difference, even if you're not going on a mission trip or something like that (ever been on one???). Sometimes it's just the matter of picking up the phone and calling someone that no one else would ever think to call. There are lots of needs even within a church.
Anyway, just some "auntie" advice. Keep searching, keep praying, wait on Him.
Aunt Mary