Addition by Subtraction (aka Thrift Shop shorts)

I refuse to buy brand new shorts unless they're on a crazy sale at Kohls, we have 30% off and the stars all align.

Im not what you would call a "tightwad".  I'm actually a little too free with my money.  However, shorts are one of those non-negotiables for me.

They're half pants, but not half price.

I've paid less for most of my jeans than I would pay for brand new shorts.  This is why I buy them at a thrift shop.

You don't always get what you pay for in life.  Things are rarely "fair".  Look at Mondays.  After a beautiful day of rest and worship, you go back to work.  Holy Spirit buzz kill.

It is easy to react in the obvious way.

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 15

One of the blog series I used to write was called Random Passing Thoughts.  I really miss writing those.

Speaking of missing things... Many of us missed Hostess and rushed out to buy some. Then we realized that Twinkies  aren't real that good.

Speaking of buying Twinkies.... Not sure why I did. I don't love them to begin with.

Speaking of not being sure... I have no clue where I am going next with this blog post.

Speaking of clue... remember that game?  It is not as great as it was back in the day.

Speaking of not being as good as back in the day... you ever go back and watch old tv shows you used to love, but now after watching them again you're not sure why?

Speaking of old TV
shows that you aren't sure why you ever loved them...  Have you WATCHED Alf recently. Bad.

Speaking of bad... there is a lot of it out there.

Speaking of out there... That's where I'm putting myself so that you know the real me.

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 14

Why does it suddenly feel like America is the kid in school that gives away their lunch money to avoid being beat up?

North Korea says, "you better not try anything or else".

America says: Yes, of course Kim Jong-il... We're sorry.

Iran says, "We're going to go ahead and make nukes after all".

America says: Sure, we understand that. Sorry for the confusion.

We're finally starting to stand up for ourselves, but only to a certain degree.

Speaking of degrees... I have like 50 of them... and none are specific to my current job.

Speaking of jobs... you have one? Good. Many people don't anymore.

Speaking of good... it is getting harder to find in this world.

Speaking of hard to find... the older I get the more I lose things.

Speaking of losing things... do you ever feel like one day we'll find a landfill overflowing with keys, socks, and class rings (that last one might be specific to me).

Speaking of socks... My back is doing much better since the "sock incident" of 2009.

Speaking of bad backs... Miranda's is not getting better. Hopefully they can figure it out soon. :(

Speaking of Miranda... did you see her Random Passing Thoughts? I'm rubbing off on her.

That may be good or bad depending on what you think of my sense of humor...

I heard a Kings Island radio ad for their new Roller Coaster called "diamondback". It said "Your first ride may be your last". In light of recent injuries and rides being shut down I think that ad is in poor taste.

Miranda's family is coming from Alabama next week. I love those Alabamians... those Alabamists... those Alabamamytes... Alabamans? Those people from Alabama!

You can teach a man to fish, but make sure you teach him how to clean the fish too... Otherwise he'll still starve.

If you ever see someone stranded on the side of the road with a gun or a knife do not stop and pick them up... Unless you are a ninja.... or Chuck Norris.

I miss Chris Farley. I didn't know him, but he seemed like a good guy. Drugs/alcohol suck.

Maybe he just needed some love. We all want to be loved.... Tell me... What's wrong with that?

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 13

OK... so what is with everyone hating on Kris Allen? The guy won American Idol, but is getting dumped on. Some call it the greatest upset in Idol History. Read this blog post if you like Adam. Don't call Yahoo's Lyndsey Parker unbiased!

Speaking of upsets... Taylor Hicks wins Season Five's American Idol - CD sales: under 800,000. Chris Daughtry comes in 4th that year - CD sales: 4.4 million. That's an upset.

Speaking of American Idol... I'm just glad it is over.

Speaking of things being over... Is it just me or does anyone else think Nancy Pelosi's political career is in jeopardy? I mean she was so likable before... What in the world happened?

Speaking of Jeopardy... remember 74 time Jeopardy winner Ken Jennings? That guy made Jeopardy cool.

Speaking of cool... Have you watched Glenn Beck on Fox News yet? You really should try.

Speaking of trying... I'm done.

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 12

I always feel a little odd when someone flushes the toilet and the water that you're washing your hands in suddenly isn't as strong... I know they're not connected, but it seems gross to me...

Speaking of things going down a toilet... Being a Browns fan invokes a similar mental image. Suddenly the "if its brown, flush it down" seems completely appropriate.

Speaking of Browns fans... they suck sometimes. First it was Tim Couch and now Derek Anderson (last week). They cheered when he was injured. Uncool.

Speaking of Derek Anderson... he took a shot at Brady Quinn after the incident happened. I've never liked him more.

Razzle Dazzle!

Speaking of Brady Quinn... nah, rather not. I like the guy more than I used to, but I'm not going to go crazy.

Speaking of going crazy... ever seen Leslie do the Razzle Dazzle on Yo Gabba Gabba? You shouldn't if you haven't...

Speaking of... wait. How many people did I lose on that last sentence?

Speaking of losing something... anyone seen Braylon Edwards hands. He used to use them to catch passes.

Speaking of catching something... colds have been bad this year. Please don't sneeze on me!

Speaking of being bad... remember Santa's watching you!

Speaking of Santa watching you... anyone else find that a little creepy?

Speaking of creepy... ever seen Leslie do the Razzle Dazzle on Yo Gabba Gabba? You shouldn't if you haven't...

I digress....

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss.11

Many Ohioans listed the economy and job creation as their most important issue in this year's election.

They didn't reflect that in how they voted.

They voted for a candidate that will tax small businesses; that will cause jobs to be cut.

They voted for Issue 5, the payday loan cap issue; that will cause jobs to be cut.

They voted no on Issue 6, the Casino. I voted no, but playing Devil's advocate; new jobs that won't be created.

Clearly common sense and politics don't match.

Instead of voting for real change we voted for political Cool Whip; seems appealing, but its very empty.

I will be blogging more... which makes the 212th time I've said that.

But I really mean it this time... which makes the 118th time I've used that one.

I might be sporadic in my posts, but I'll never abandon my blog. I love it.

I've never said that one before.

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 10

Primary Voting Day Edition

If you are registerd to vote haven't already, please go vote today. Unless you're voting for Obama or McCain.

Speaking of Obama, who can name one actual accomplishment that might set him apart from other candidates?

Ohio will be giving you the option to vote with a paper ballot if you request one. After years of training everyone to watch television, surf the internet, etc. the state of Ohio decided to take a giant step BACKWARDS with this move.

Many politicians will tell you that our country is in a horrible state now after the last 7 years with President Bush in office. They'll say how much worse off we are. If that were really true, why is there a problem with immigration? Why would people want to come to such a horrible country?

Oh, and its not "Bush" as the media and others call him. It is "President Bush". If Clinton still gets to be President Clinton, the current President should get the same level of respect.

Don't think the national media is biased? What has Barak Obama done to deserve the Democrat nomination? Some may forget or not know that this guy just lost a run for a Congressional seat in 2000.

He won the Democrat Primary for Senate only after the front-runner, Blair Hull, was accused of alleged domestic abuse. That was convenient for Obama. He then had the backing of the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Sun-Times (media) to help win the Dem. nomination.

He went onto face Republican Jack Ryan in the general election in 2004. However, less than five months before the election Ryan withdrew from the race following public disclosure of child custody divorce records containing sexual allegations by Ryan's ex-wife, actress Jeri Ryan. Again, convenient for Obama.

In August 2004, with less than three months to go before election day, Alan Keyes accepted the Illinois Republican Party's nomination to replace Ryan, but there wasn't enough time to get together enough of a campaign to stop the momentum that was handed to Obama.

To put in perspective, he's been a U.S. Senator since Jan. 2005, has been campaigning (officially) since Feb. 2007. So, he's actually only had two years of real work.

Hey, he's more like me than I even realized!

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 9

I didn't make a blog post yesterday. Was it because I was crying over the Buckeyes losing the title game? Not hardly. I'm more upset about the writer's strike keeping The Office from making new episodes than I am over the loss. Some observations from the last couple of days:

People mock what they don't understand. The Buckeyes having a great football team and are consistently one of the best in the country. Why non-OSU fans (and non-LSU fans for that matter) feel the need to trash the Buckeyes is beyond me. Even people who root for bad, bad, bad football teams do it. I guess those who can't root, reproach.

Yeah, we lost. I'd rather lose to a great team in the best bowl game than lose to a bad team in a lousy one.

We are THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY. What is people's problem with that? That's the school's official name. It is "The Ohio State University". Why then is it not TOSU instead of OSU? Because we're not stupid. You never include the word "the" when abbreviating something. Duh-er.

Enough of all of that....

I say the words "idiot" and "moron" way too much. In fact saying it once a week is one time too many. I know where I get it from, but that doesn't make it easy to stop. I am trying though.

I'm also too quick to judge people. Is Tom Cruise crazy? Should the fact that he is into Scientology make him crazy? Maybe he just wants to "belong". Does jumping on Oprah's couch make him crazy? Maybe he was actually in love. I don't agree with him on almost anything, but he's a person too.

Difficult people in your life? Everyone has them. Tips on dealing with them.... I'm waiting. Oh, you thought I had the answers. Nope. I just usually wear headphones. Let me know if you think of something.

I'm no Joey Gladstone. I cannot imitate anything or anyone. When I try to do one voice it comes out like another. Irish comes out as Scottish. George Bush comes out like George Carlin and Dr. Phil sounds like Dr. Laura.

State Farm had a great commercial on the other day. They compared insurance to kickers. You don't think about them until you need them.

Lastly, if you are a fan of The Office, stop by my virtual cubicle at http://www.dundermifflininfinity.com/bspeaks. If you decide to join look up the Middletown Ohio branch. That's where I'm at. What a nerd.

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 8

Chillicothe finally gets a FM station that isn't country music that I can pick up on my radio at work...and now I have to work from Columbus. Go figure. (Side note: Sorry Hilsboro people, but what do you expect...it is Clear Channel)

I love Michale Buble's "Everything" song. Hearing it makes me feel...nostalgic. When I was younger I used to listen to WNCI in the evenings and I loved to hear love songs. I still love to hear them. Hearing "Everything" makes me think of many summer nights that I would just sit there and think about Miranda. Love is a wonderful thing. My heart feels as if it could burst sometimes when I think about how much I love her. That song is wonderful.

It is supposeDly... not supposeBly. I'm just saying.

Here in America most of us speak English... not American.

In Mexico they speak Spanish... not Mexican.

Have you ever had to stand outside in single digit temperatures while your dog "does his business" or take them for a walk during a downpour rain? Reasons #126 and 127 why I'll never own a dog.

I heard "Merry Christmas" while shopping this year more times than the last three years combined.

I heard "Merry Christmas" in more Chillicothe stores than I did at the River Valley Mall.

Miranda and I love to play the "Would you rather..." game.

Would you rather be too cold or too hot?

Would you rather get lemon juice in a paper cut or stub your "baby" toe?

Would you rather keep reading this blog post or do something productive?

You don't have a choice on the last one...

To read past issues of "Random Passing Thoughts", click here.

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 7

Interesting fact: The amount of people who read my blog divided by the people who will vote for Dennis Kucinich multiplied by the number of people who will vote for Ron Paul = 0, the same chance that either of these guys have at being our President.

Tis' the season... Super Tuesday is long gone so no more political ads...now you just have ten tons of SUPER SALE ads to contend with. That wouldn't be so bad if there were better deals...

The difference between a politician and a retail store's sale ad? You can actually trust the promise that the store's ad makes. I'd hate to see a percentage of campaign promises kept.

Speaking of retail stores....Christmas shopping is fun - as long as you anticipate to wait in line everywhere you go. If you assume you'll have to wait you won't get as frustrated.

Speaking of Christmas... I just love "A Charlie Brown Christmas". We have it on VHS. If anyone has it on DVD and wants to sell it I'll buy it off of you! :)

Speaking of Charlie Brown... he's running for Congress in California. He's a lib so I hope he steals his cartoon counterpart's lines by saying "Everything I touch gets ruined". The top link on his website is for the Daily Kos...

Speaking of The Daily Kos... What a bunch of garbage. They're one of the many blogging websites that are helping to kill off what little credibility the media had. When the New York Times, ABC, MSNBC, etc. quote from bloggers on this site then we've hit a new low.

Speaking of media outlets... I do think Fox News is a fair and balanced station. I don't think they're too far to the right, but anything that doesn't look like the usual biased garbage is probably unsettling to some.

Speaking of Fox News... I do disagree with some of their content as well as the format of the "Fox and Friends" Show. C'mon, people. It is the news, not a high school locker room.

Speaking of High School... it has now been 9 years since I graduated from High School. It didn't sound that bad until I typed it.

Speaking of bad... This writing style is probably annoying you. I just wanted to see how long I could keep it going. Thanks for reading!

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 6

It has been far too long since my last Random Passing Thoughts blog. With too much more ado than needed here's issue #6 of Random Passing Thoughts.

Many major upsets have happened this year in College football including top 10 teams being beaten by unranked opponents. Even Indiana beat Iowa this week. This further proves that even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.

Also in that category are the Cleveland Browns who are the only team in their division to win this week.

Speaking of the Browns... With each passing week Derek Anderson continues to pass the ball well and the Browns keep passing on the overpaid Brady Quinn.

Speaking of Brady Quinn... Miranda and I saw this hideous shirt at Sears. What in the world? Is he Jesus? What's with the glowing light around his face?

He's a football player for crying out loud!

My brother Gary and I were talking about gum the other day. Wrigley's is by far the worst chewing gum company. They're the company that brought you "Juicy Fruit" which is neither juicy or fruity. I just call them "Sugary heartburn makin' my teeth hurt sticks". Doesn't look as good on a label though.

Always respect your elders. They're closest to death and will haunt you if you're mean.

I don't honestly believe that "haunting" actually happens, but I'll refrain from kicking the canes away from the elderly anyway.

Is there a perfect pet? Someone else's.

This was my least favorite month of school. Too far away from the Holidays, but not far enough away from summer.

15 years ago no one had the Internet. Now we complain when the page "takes too long to load".

I remember my first experience with the Internet. It was at Matt's house. As soon as you type in the web address and hit enter you could go get a snack, eat it, come back to the computer and it might have half of the page loaded.

Here's a slogan for you: The Internet. Bringing the world closer while destroying good communication with your friends and family.

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 5

Ripped from the headlines....

In Japan they now sell square watermelons for $85 a piece. They say it helps with storage space in your refridgerator...Or, you could buy a bigger fridge for about 25 watermelons.

Miranda and I watched a woman on the news that claimed to be 100% Muslim and 100% Christian. It was also revealed that math was her worst subject in High School.

On that same subject - how can a person both believe that Jesus was God incarnate, died and rose from the dead - while also believing that Jesus was just a man and was never resurrected? It was also revealed that Theology was her worst subject in College.

News reports have recently shown that many terrorists are popping up right here in the US because people feel "unremarkable". Make threats against America just once and the rest of us we'll make sure you NEVER feel remarkable.

Columbine's shooters had the same goal; they forgot one thing. You can't feel famous when you're dead.

The students of Virginia Tech will be returning to their school soon - just in time for a concert that includes NAS - a rapper known for his violent lyrics. Thumbs down to VT president Dr. Charles Steger who knows of the lyrics, but will apparently let it happen anyway.

Thumbs up to the VT student paper that criticized officials for their lack of empathy on this issue.

Last thing. Don Imus made a derogatory remark several months back about some of the Rutgers female basketball players. He publicly apologized. He lost his job. That's enough, right? Apparently not. Center Kia Vaughn is suing for defemation of character stating that he "intentionally used slanderous terms to describe her on his radio show" as quoted by her lawyer, Michael McCann.

Anyone else have a problem with this? The guy made idiotic comments. He lost his job and credibility. Even though he would probably win the case he will more than likely settle. Is this about principle - OR - is this yet another case of someone seeing free money that is "due to them"?

Random Passing Thoughts, Is. 4

Anniversary edition of Random Passing Thoughts

With my mom and dad's anniversary tomorrow, then mine and Miranda's on Saturday I wanted to write down thoughts on marriage.
_____________________

Quote from Steve Carell as Michael Scott on the Office:
"Webster’s Dictionary defines wedding as 'the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.' Well you know something? I think you guys are two metals… gold metals".

I've mentioned before that certain parts of our wedding and reception weren't "perfect". Now that I think about it, it really was. The length of the ceremony, having no music at the reception, opening the presents there, or any of the other things that "went wrong"...none of it matters. It was perfect because of who I married, not because of how it went.

My parents have been married for 41 years now. That's about 39 years more than the average marriage lasts anymore.

My parents have taught me that marriage isn't always perfect, but it is the most sacred, real thing you can have in your life.

They've also taught me that the secret to a happy home is love.

Some people call their spouse "the ol' ball and chain". For me, she's more like the key that unlocked my potential as a person.

Miranda and I have been married for six years now. It seems like it has been so much longer than that; yet it also seems like we've only had a few short moments together.

Marriage is everything I hoped it would be - and much, much more.

Marriage is hard work, but is the best work you could find.

I've not been married long, but I've learned a few things. Here is some advice for other married men:

1) Try not to ask if your wife is mad. If she is mad, she won't tell you. If she wasn't mad, she is now.

2) When you're asked how your wife looks, if she looks fat, if she's pretty, etc. always be sincere when you answer. Answer quickly, but sincerely.

3) Compliment her even if she doesn't ask. Don't wait for her to ask how she looks. Let her know.

4) Always open the door when you have the opportunity to do so. She may never acknowledge that you do it, but the first time you don't do it, she'll let you know.

5) Always order from a local florist when (not if) you send flowers. I ordered from 1800Flowers once. It was a dozen beautiful roses...that came in a box. Part of the fun in receiving flowers is having everyone else get jealous as they watch them go by.

6) Give a few years before and between children. It will help you grow stronger as a couple. Just don't wait too long because that could hurt you too.

7) Be the first to say "I'm sorry". Again, be sincere and quick about it.

8) Don't do things you know you'll have to apologize later for: not doing what you have said you would do, doing what you said you wouldn't do, coming home late and not calling, or forgetting a birthday/anniversary (I've never done that!).

9) Purposefully go out of your way to show you love your wife. Say it, but make sure your actions back it up. Figure out what your wife believes to be "showing you love her" - i.e. letters and cards, small presents, doing housework without being told to, giving shoulder rubs, etc.

10) Make her the most important person in your world. My baby girl is wonderful and I love her dearly, but there is no greater love in my heart for any one person like there is for Miranda. Don't neglect, take for granted, or ever forget that they are your #1. Make sure they know it too!

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 3

Resolution...its not just for your monitor anymore.

I spent a week in an Atlanta airport one afternoon.

What is something that you can't live without, but previously lived without it for years - and is something that helps gives you peace of mind, but never offers peace? A cell phone.

Ducks are like fish with wings...and beaks...and feet...and lungs that can breath air.

Talk loud enough for me to listen, but not so loud that I can't hear my tv show.

The 4 stages of a pet:
Stage 1: When you don't have kids they are your Children.
Stage 2: When you have your first child they are neglected.
Stage 3: When your kids get old enough they are your children's pet.
Stage 4: When your kids move out they are your children again.

"If that mocking bird won't sing..." Who owns a mocking bird?

I spent three years in West Virginia one day.

I started a website design company once. It didn't go anywhere and it no longer exists.

I started a vitamins/cosmetics business once. It didn't go anywhere and it no longer exists.

I started a craft business once. It didn't go anywhere and it no longer exists.

I started selling Real Estate once. It didn't go anywhere and I no longer do it.

I started building church websites. It just started...we'll see where it goes.

I hope Maleah gets Miranda's personality and sense of humor.

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 2

Churchy type rambling type stuff

Too many churches have too many "saints" and not enough "sinners". The more nonChristians the better. Otherwise, the preacher is preaching to....the choir. Literally.

Jesus loves the little children...even the loud, obnoxious, unruly ones.

Religion is a filthy word that should be banned from the church.

When God calls you to a ministry - do it. He will let you know what the perfect ministry for you is. How do you know what He's calling you to? You just thought of it two seconds ago.

Hate the sin, love the sinner. In the same way you should love your neighbor, but you can hate their lawn gnome.

Don't rush to point out other's faults. You might trip over your own stumbling blocks on the way there.

"Churches are filled with hypocrites". That's true...churches are also filled with people.

Jesus didn't say to follow Joe, Jack, Bill, or Susie. He said to follow Him.

People are weak and will fail you. Jesus is strong and will never let you down.

People say one thing, but do another. What Jesus says...Jesus does....Jesus is.

Sermons are like an orange. You will only get as much as you are willing to squeeze out of it.

Christians are like apples. Bright, shiny, and good to the core... or they're bruised and beaten.

You can lead a person to water, but you can't make them drink. Lead a person to Christ and they'll never thirst again.

The best gift we can give will eventually fade, be destroyed, or lose its appeal. The best gift we can receive will never fade, will never be destroyed, and will always appeal to your soul.

Prayer - it's a way of life, not a pre-meal ritual.

A grudge is like a tumor of the soul. Let it fester long enough and it will consume you. Cut it out and you'll find peace.

You should cut it out.

Random Passing Thoughts, Iss. 1

Why do I hate to shave when it isn't hard to do and only takes a couple minutes?

I love office supplies...pens, paper, wastebaskets...you name it! I love it all. Why? Brain malfunction, perhaps.

Interesting info on fairs and festivals:

1. State Fairs are for people who like walk around and eat a lot of junk food while looking at animals.
2. County fairs are for people who like to walk less and eat a lot of junk food while looking at animals.
3. Festivals are for people who like to eat a lot of junk food and hate the smell of animals.

I once tried to talk people into using the word frupy (pronounced froopy) as a new word for cool. Ironically, as a result I was not very frupy.

Eric is one of my favorite's on BB8. He's America's player. America is his partner. If he wins it all do we get some of the money?

They make a shoe that is plastic called "Scrubs". That goes to show you that with proper marketing you can sell anything in the world.

Speaking of shoes, I just made a new shoe out of cardboard...want to buy a pair?

Speaking of cardboard, did you know that Poland is one of the largest producers of cardboard?

Speaking of Poland...no, I won't subject you to that.

I had a cold last week which included a runny nose and a stuffed nose? Which is worse?