SBBS 1.7 - The Substitute

Season 1, Ep. 7 - The Substitute

Plaid Jacket + mullet = Dreamy!

I probably should have waited to show the picture you see to the left.  Now that you have seen it, you probably will not read this now. He is one fine slice of man cake.

You are thinking, "I never had a substitute like this guy".  I hope you are right. I hope you have never had a substitute who was clearly being ogled by minors in his classroom, who lead his first class by roleplaying Romeo and Juliet and who asked the girls to come sit with him while eating at the Max.

Creepy.  These things happen all the time, but never end well.  If you are the creepy teacher, you either have a cronie of Nancy Grace camping outside your house, or you have someone play you in a Lifetime Original Movie.

At the end this substitute teacher seems shocked that the teenage boys are being upstaged by a man. So, instead of "manning up" and just teaching the girls what "five to seven" means, he played along with the actress the guys hired to be his fiance'. He is smooth.

Professor Dreamy only lasted an episode, but he raised the bar for all of the boys of Bayside High. He also raised the awareness of Principal Belding that hiring without a background check or references is not the best idea.

SBBS 1.6 - Aloha Slater

Season 1, Ep. 6 -Aloha Slater

For Zack Morris only one thing mattered. From the moment he woke up at 4 AM to start working on his hair, to the point he went to bed he was thinking about girls. Things were going well for him in that department as he only had a few nerds to contend with.

Then along came AC Slater. He was everything that Zack wasn't; tall, strong and athletic. So when Zack found out that Slater's dad was possibly being reassigned to Hawaii, he pounced on that opportunity.

Zack did everything he could to convince Slater he needed to move on. All the while he tried to convince the girls that Slater was dying.

Slater had moved around a lot and finally found a home in Bayside. Though he had always wanted to go to Hawaii with his dad, his priorities changed.  He no longer desired yet another move to a city where no one knows him. He finally found a place he called home.

Even though he didn't like the competition, Zack really started to find a friend in AC. What felt so important to him at first, really didn't matter... and what really didn't matter, became very important.

SBBS 1.5 - Screech's Woman

Season 1, Ep. 5 - Screech's Woman

You've heard this story: Boy falls in love with girl. Girl turns out to be not real.  Girl is actually a guy. 

Screech got "Catfished".

Though that term wasn't made popular until years after this episode, and technically he never experienced that "gotcha" moment that truly defines the Catfish hoax.

Everything leading up to it, however, is exactly the same.


Screech loves Lisa Turtle. Lisa loves clothes, money, herself and - in this episode - some other guy. There's a scene where Screech runs toward Lisa with open arms.  She seemingly is doing the same thing. However her open arms aren't for Screech.

Zack is teamed up with Screech for a science project. It is going really well, until Screech gets his heart broken in the aforementioned rejection at the MAX.  Zach immediately becomes concerned with his buddy's well being. Not because he cares for him, but because his ticket to a good grade is bumming hard.

He searches high and low for a girl to date Screech. Instead of just giving up, he takes one for the team, Team Morris that is.  He decides to dress like a girl and go out with Screech.


Enter "Bambi".  Screech truly was interested just in what a girl liked over anything else. Why "Bambi" had to look like a 45 year old diner waitress from the 70's is beyond me.

Zack learned that there's always a point of going "too far" when it comes to messing with someone's heart.  Society as a whole is far from learning that lesson.  We toss the word "love" out so often we water it down and make it unrecognizable.

We trample on the sanctity and sacrifice in marriage.  Few can even empathize for another human being anymore.

Zach learned that love isn't something to be manipulated for our own gain. If only other folks could get that memo. Maybe they should watch this episode! :)

SBBS 1.4 - Fatal Distraction

Season 1, Ep. 4 - Fatal Distraction

Times were simpler back in the days of Saved by the Bell.  You could fake a mental illness and not get in trouble with any groups for being politically incorrect.  Although mental illness is no laughing matter, getting back at a boy who hid a microphone in your friend's room during a sleepover is.


The dance was coming up and Zack only did what any boy would do if they thought they could get away with it.  Maybe not every guy would bug a girl's sleepover, but you would love to be a fly on the wall if your name is brought up.

Back to the simpler times... I doubt girls today actually have sleepovers as teenagers.  Innocence is lost early for most adolescents and girls are becoming meaner.  The feminist movement - though its intentions I belive were good - has had many long lasting ramifications.

Least of which is a trickle down affect on girls.  Girls are being taught that they don't have to be feminine or lady like.  Girls have also started to lose their identity.  They don't know who they are and are confused about their role in the world.

As a result, they start to emulate what they've seen and heard.  If society is lucky, there are females left that find their own path. Otherwise we are heading down a treacherous slope.  We need women in our society to be women.  Not in a neanderthal way, but in all of the ways that make men better men for knowing them.. and children well rounded for being raised by them. Just like my wife.

Zack let his curiosity get the best of him.  He's guilty of a violation of privacy, but the motive was clear. Every guy wants to know what women are thinking. I love my wife and I try hard to get to know her better all of the time.

If I know what makes her tick... and what makes her happy.... I'll do whatever it takes to give her whatever she needs.  Hopefully any man reading this - including myself - doesn't need a tape recorder to figure that much out.

SBBS 1.3 - The Gift

 Season 1, Ep. 3 - The Gift

It has been all over the news lately... Lance Armstrong admitted to "doping" in order to help him win.  Several more names have been linked with using steroids in baseball.  Ravens Linebacker and future NFL Hall of Famer Ray Lewis is accused of using deer antler spray (yeah, it is weird to me too) to gain an advantage in his rehibilitation from an injury this season.

Winning is everything to some people; no matter what the cost.  Even if the price of winning is ruining one's personal legacy some will do it anyway.  They are blinded to morality for the sake of one cause. The "W". Instead of working hard and doing things the right way, they take the shortcut.

In "The Gift" Screech is hit by lightning and afterwards has the ability to see into the future.  Once Zack and Slater realize this they are quick to start using their geeky buddy for everything from reading minds to trying to pass a test by relaying the questions from the future. .

If he was a good friend they might make sure he didn't suffer brain damage prior to hitting him up for help on a test. However, no one really ever accused either them of being a good friend.

 Instead of studying hard and making an actual effort, Zack chooses the easier path.  Use your friend to make an easier way.  However, just as Armstrong and a host of other cheaters in sports have found out - you'll never get away with it.

For Zack, the lesson was learned much quicker.  As he is going over the questions from the test, Zack realizes that Screech's help was no help at all.

Moral of this story was straightforward; true cheaters never really win.  It also teaches you that if you're going to use your recently lightning struck buddy to help you cheat on a test because he can now see the future, go for test questions that first before asking him anything else.

SBBS 1.2 - The Lisa Card

Season 1, Ep. 2 - The Lisa Card

Credit card debt is one of the most crippling things to America's economy and many families suffer due to its effects.  We're given more than we can ever pay back, but its a trap; one that many fall prey to every single day.

In a way, "The Lisa Card" was years ahead of its time. 

Lisa's father lets her use his credit card as a reward for doing well at school. However, she goes overboard with the spending, and her friends help her think of ways to make some money to pay it off.

The first thing that pops out to me... Why give a teenage girl a credit card?  Aren't you just asking for her to spend a bunch of money?  Like sending an alcoholic into a bar for a Pepsi... or like bringing doughnuts or various other sweet treats to my workplace on a continuous basis.  I mean c'mon people... Do you want me to gain wait?  I'm going to have to buy new pants soon.

Of course, I digress.

The "Lisa Card" shows Lisa having to find a way to pay off her credit card debt by selling all of her designer clothes for pennies on the dollar... selling off kisses to nerds... and even "slumming it" by having to work in a diner; apparently the only place hiring within 2 miles of her house.

In my opinion, the episode isn't as much about the obvious surface level lessons: i.e. the dangers of a credit card and the need to have self control.

For me, it was more about changing the person of who Lisa was.  She gets good grades, is popular, and her father is wealthy.  She seems to have everything she could ever want. In the Bible, we can find these questions for Lisa:

"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Matthew 16:26 NIV)

 For Lisa, this episode was more about "soul searching" than anything else.

There are two sides to every coin.  Lisa was able to see that the "other half" didn't live so bad. That exposure to the people and things she was not used to helped her become a better person. At least for that episode.

As we know, in the world of television... lessons learned are usually short lived. They usually come to an end. Perfect segue to the end of this blog post. See you next week!

SBBS 1.1 - Dancing to the Max

Season 1, Ep. 1 - Dancing to the Max

We have all been there. You want to take the love of your life - let's call her Kelly - to a local eatery for a dance off, but so does someone else from your school - we'll call him Slater. Naturally you end up having to take your best friend - let's call her Jessie - and ultimately realize that you cannot dance.

Naturally, Casey Kasem is the host for the dance competition... because he is of course friends with the principal.

Then, out of nowhere your friend - let's call her Lisa - sprains her leg almost entirely crushing her chances of winning.

Then your nerdy buddy - let's call him Screech - mans up and helps her dance. What a hero. Thus the new dance sensation "The Sprain" is born.

That's never happened to you?  Me either.

Welcome to the world of Saved by the Bell. Things are like when you went to high school... except the fact that you couldn't get away with whatever you wanted... and Casey "the father of the top 40" Kasem never showed up at your school.... and you didn't have a diner that was apparently exclusive to school kids only.

What you did have was the basics... some learning, some goofing off and memories - whether good or bad - that will stay with you for the rest of your life.  If you have watched one Saved by the Bell episode, you've watched them all. Literally.

Most people between the ages of 25-35 have seen every single episode... Sometimes twice. Even the most unlikely folks have watched. Go ahead, ask someone that you would never expect to have watched. You might be surprised.

Why did we watch?  It was fluff... it was mindless... and somehow, you could relate to the characters.  It appeals to the kid in all of us that wishes they could live those lives... to be in the shoes of people who were genuinely happy... and had few boundaries.

It was good, clean and fun.  Maybe deep down inside we all long for that... and maybe I'm making something out of nothing.

I'll be blogging every Saturday about the show we loved... one episode at a time. Just like it used to be. So, stop by every Saturday morning for my SBBS (Saved by the Bell Saturday) and read it.... twice, if it makes you happy. :)

Lessons from Saved by the Bell

I will be starting a new blog series this Saturday... "Saved by the Bell Saturday". Original, I know.

Just as Saved by the Bell appeared every Saturday, so will my blog series.